There is a difference between 'feeling' seen and 'being' seen.

I've been thinking about the difference between the two and would love for you to chip in with your thoughts.

Here's my two pennies' worth so far.

When we feel seen, don't we feel a guttural relief? A sense of 'Ah, you see me!' It can feel heart opening.

Do you think we need someone to be curious about us in order to feel seen? We need them to suspend preconceived ideas and judgments to create space in the relationship; allowing for rupture and repair.

'Being' seen, to me, has more of a sense of the observer and the observed and within that lies the opportunity for 'othering' and labelling.

Sometimes labelling and observing helps to bring structure, whilst the curiosity brings empathy.

When we 'feel' seen doesn't it reduce our shame? We can feel seen without the threat of emotional or physical abandonment. If we haven't ever really had that before it can be painful, like pins and needles going into a limb that has had its blood supply cut off.

Do you know what I mean?

I felt that emotional pins and needles again this week after a meeting with a very curious, nurturing film producer. I wrote this after it.

Today I was witnessed.

Not my story,

Nor any of its refractions...

My victories or disappointments...

My looks,

My humour,

My knowledge or wisdom.

No.

Just, my truth.

My truth was witnessed.

As true.

No one talks about the exquisite pain that brings.

​

I don't know if I would have been able to tolerate that 'exquisite pain' a few years ago on a one to one basis as I did this week.

Sometimes, we need a group to help us feel seen, the sensation of that kind of emotional intimacy is too intense on an individual basis if we have not had much experience of that emotional attunement in our past.

We need a group, each individual a square which makes up a patchwork quilt of care that can can carry us.

Don't you think?

I'd love to know your thoughts about feeling seen and any stories you have of what helped.

👀

Jacky ✨